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Opinion

Editorials

Champaign County Man Explains Entire Personality Using One Township Road

Opinion · Staff report — September 12, 2026

Identity: gravel optional.

Woman Rates Sermon Against Casserole Quality in Parallel Spreadsheets

Opinion · Staff report — September 08, 2026

Holistic church metrics.

Man Watches Entire Youth Game Through Phone Camera, Misses Game

Sports · Sports desk — September 03, 2026

Documentation over experience.

Man Claims He Can Identify Township by Smell of Rain on Asphalt

Opinion · Staff report — August 30, 2026

Olfactory cartography.

Local Argues Champaign County Has 'Best Clouds,' Offers No Methodology

Opinion · Staff report — August 28, 2026

Sky bias, unfunded.

Township Trustee Defines 'Temporary' as 'Until Someone Complains Louder'

News · Staff report — August 27, 2026

Local government dictionary update.

Woman Frames Grocery List Found in Parking Lot as Found Art

Lifestyle · Staff report — August 26, 2026

Milk, bread, dignity.

Local on Heck Hill Road Describes Gradient as Character Building

Opinion · Staff report — August 22, 2026

Hills as personality tests.

Man on Cowpath Road Defends Road Name Against Gentrification Jokes

Opinion · Staff report — August 17, 2026

Named roads have pride.

Simple Coffee vs Hemisphere Debate Enters Year Three With No Treaty

Lifestyle · Staff report — August 12, 2026

Main and Sandusky cold war, beans edition.

Mingo Resident Describes County Map as 'Mostly Suggestions'

Opinion · Staff report — August 08, 2026

Unincorporated philosophy.

Christiansburg Man Describes Clark County Line as 'A Vibe, Not a Border'

Opinion · Staff report — July 30, 2026

South county philosophy, unsolicited.

Lonesome Road Residents Demand Official 'Little Smokies' Highway Sign for Davey Woods

News · Staff report — July 27, 2026

Branding, but for trees.

OPINION: We used to wave at trains and that should count for something

Opinion · Editorial board — July 23, 2026

A defense of pointless friendliness as infrastructure in Champaign County.

LETTER: Stop parking like it’s valet at St. Paris Shoppers

News · Letter to the editor — July 21, 2026

Two-minute errands on W. Main have become a municipal crisis of character.

Uncle explains national politics using only US-36 and US-68 metaphors

Opinion · Staff report — July 17, 2026

The country is apparently stuck in the left lane around Monument Square going 22.

Man furious Amazon driver used his gravel driveway as intended

News · Staff report — July 16, 2026

Tracks in the stone have been logged like a crime scene off a county road near Mutual.

Woman keeps mental scoreboard of who brings store-bought cookies to Graham events

Opinion · Features desk — July 13, 2026

The list is not written down. The list is eternal. The campus is on US-36.

Woman still mad about 2019 Champaign County Fair parking

Opinion · Letter to the editor — July 09, 2026

A St. Paris resident would like to revisit a grassy lot decision from the first Trump term.

OPINION: TeaBaggers diplomacy could fix county politics

Opinion · Editorial board — July 02, 2026

If you can share a table on N. Main in Urbana, you can share a zoning map.

LETTER: Please stop parking like that in the Indians pickup line

Opinion · Letter to the editor — June 28, 2026

A Mechanicsburg parent asks for six more inches of common sense on High Street.

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Parody notice
This is a satirical / parody publication. Not a real newspaper. Names, events, and quotes are fabricated for entertainment.

Latest

Champaign County Man Explains Entire Personality Using One Township Road

Opinion · Staff report — September 12, 2026

Evening Thunderstorm Rescheduled Little League, Not the Argument About It

Sports · Sports desk — September 12, 2026

Falcons Wrestling Dual Meet Crowd Uses Silence as a Weapon

Sports · Sports desk — September 11, 2026

Woman Finds Perfect Tomato at Market, Immediately Distrusts It

Lifestyle · Staff report — September 11, 2026

Local Describes Indian Lake Traffic as 'Worth It If You Don't Think'

Lifestyle · Staff report — September 10, 2026

Urbana Woman Treats Scioto Street Historic Homes as Open-Air Museum With Rules

Lifestyle · Staff report — September 10, 2026
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