Champaign Voices

Lab-Grown Coffee Experiments Proceed; Morning People Remain Hostage

Published: September 21, 2026

Biotech firms pursued coffee without traditional farming constraints while caffeine dependency stayed fully natural. What do you think?

“If it wakes me up, stop explaining the lab.”
Buddy Neer, Drip Coffee Fundamentalist
“I'll try it after the regular pot runs out.”
Linda Ropp, Church Coffee Urn Technician
“Taste is politics. Caffeine is law.”
Greg Huffman, Gas Station Coffee Connoisseur