https://fakeburgtelegram.com/ Informing Mechanicsburg & Champaign County — mostly https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/09/man-wins-argument-about-which-burg-coffee-is-better/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/09/man-wins-argument-about-which-burg-coffee-is-better/ Thu, 09 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT A 22-minute debate at the corner of Main and Sandusky ended the way all great debates end: with nobody changing their mind and everyone late for work. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/09/woman-still-mad-about-2019-fair-parking/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/09/woman-still-mad-about-2019-fair-parking/ Thu, 09 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT A St. Paris resident would like to revisit a grassy lot decision from the first Trump term. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/08/triad-hires-bill-hickley-baseball-coach/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/08/triad-hires-bill-hickley-baseball-coach/ Wed, 08 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Board votes for lifelong local William “Bill” Hickley; parents petition, Cardinals kids cheer, and the parking lot off Maple Street has opinions. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/07/graham-golf-scramble-raises-funds-and-mild-suspicions/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/07/graham-golf-scramble-raises-funds-and-mild-suspicions/ Tue, 07 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Charity event nets support for Falcons athletics and at least one alleged “foot wedge.” https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/07/village-council-tables-debate-over-fourth-stop-sign/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/07/village-council-tables-debate-over-fourth-stop-sign/ Tue, 07 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Mechanicsburg council members agreed only that something should be done, then scheduled another meeting to decide what. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/06/local-man-declares-victory-after-mowing-ditch-before-neighbor/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/06/local-man-declares-victory-after-mowing-ditch-before-neighbor/ Mon, 06 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT A Mechanicsburg-area homeowner called the early cut “the Super Bowl of rural property management.” https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/05/road-work-us-36-detour-now-a-lifestyle/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/05/road-work-us-36-detour-now-a-lifestyle/ Sun, 05 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT County and state work on the east–west spine continues. Drivers say their GPS is gaslighting them. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/05/sheriff-reminds-drivers-deer-do-not-use-crosswalks/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/05/sheriff-reminds-drivers-deer-do-not-use-crosswalks/ Sun, 05 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Nighttime crashes climb as corn reaches “ambush height,” officials say. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/04/paws-cat-of-the-week-captain-crunch/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/04/paws-cat-of-the-week-captain-crunch/ Sat, 04 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Local shelter highlight — orange tabby seeks couch, treats, and limited vacuum exposure. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/04/st-paris-fireworks-still-technically-legal-if-you-ask-right/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/04/st-paris-fireworks-still-technically-legal-if-you-ask-right/ Sat, 04 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Fourth of July weekend brought tradition, tinnitus, and one very tired dog on Springfield Street. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/03/club-news-rotary-honors-someone-who-actually-showed-up/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/03/club-news-rotary-honors-someone-who-actually-showed-up/ Fri, 03 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Local service club celebrates perfect attendance and excellent pancake-flip form. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/03/data-center-flyer-war-enters-week-six/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/03/data-center-flyer-war-enters-week-six/ Fri, 03 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT Champaign County mailboxes fill with glossy promises and glossy counter-promises. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/02/teabaggers-diplomacy-could-fix-county-politics/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/02/teabaggers-diplomacy-could-fix-county-politics/ Thu, 02 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT If you can share a table on N. Main in Urbana, you can share a zoning map. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/01/best-porch-sits-of-champaign-county/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/07/01/best-porch-sits-of-champaign-county/ Wed, 01 Jul 2026 12:00:00 GMT From Mechanicsburg swings to St. Paris stoops, we rate the art of doing nothing outside. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/06/28/letter-please-stop-parking-like-that/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/06/28/letter-please-stop-parking-like-that/ Sun, 28 Jun 2026 12:00:00 GMT A Mechanicsburg parent asks for six more inches of common sense on High Street. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/06/20/fair-preview-funnel-cake-futures-look-bullish/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/06/20/fair-preview-funnel-cake-futures-look-bullish/ Sat, 20 Jun 2026 12:00:00 GMT Champaign County Fair returns to 384 Park Ave with rides, livestock, and the annual debate over best fair food. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/06/15/harold-j-example/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/06/15/harold-j-example/ Mon, 15 Jun 2026 12:00:00 GMT Sample obituary format for the site — replace with real paid notices as needed. https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/05/26/mechanicsburg-graduation-special/ https://fakeburgtelegram.com/2026/05/26/mechanicsburg-graduation-special/ Tue, 26 May 2026 12:00:00 GMT Caps, gowns, and the collective exhale of a thousand relatives with cameras on High Street.